When it comes to a good marriage, who’s in charge?
Ephesians 5:23’s For the husband is the head stirs heated debate. No one is neutral.
I believe that God’s best plan is for the husband to the head of the home . . . and the wife, the heart. Two different, but equally essential, functions. Take the body–brain death or cardiac death, either way it’s dead.
May your marriage be alive and well, head and heart.
When I was a child, the Bible was the good ol’ King James.
Genesis 4:1 (KJV)
And Adam knew Eve his wife;
and she conceived, and bare Cain.
I giggled at that word, knew. I figured that was the King’s polite way of saying, had sex with. “How old fashioned,” I thought.
How little I knew!
The Hebrew word used here is yada, “to know.” To be known. To show and to discover. To perceive, acknowledge, clearly understand.
The same word is used in this beautiful psalm.
Psalm 139: 4 (NIV)
Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
Know your spouse!
This is a good week to think about marriage. What makes for a good relationship?
You’ve probably heard this quote, attributed to John Wooden and a host of others:
“The best thing a father can do for his children
is to love their mother.”
I know you’ve heard this one:
Matthew 22:37 (NIV)
Love the Lord your God with all your heart
and with all your soul and with all your mind.
What’s the best thing you can do for your marriage?
Love God. With all your heart.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906-1945) called for radical obedience to Christ. A witness to his death in a Nazi prison camp wrote, “I have hardly ever seen a man die so entirely submissive to the will of God.”
Bonhoeffer knew how to listen.
“Christians have forgotten that the ministry of listening has been committed to them by Him who is Himself the great listener and whose work they should share. We should listen with the ears of God.”
James 1:19 (NLT)
Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak.
As a nation, we have it all backwards. We are quick to speak and even quicker to judge. Everyone talks at once, and we can’t hear each other. So we yell louder.
Not God’s way.
And we wonder why things are such a mess.
Let’s talk rabbit ears. Not the furry bunny kind. The antenna kind.
You jiggle the rabbit ears to clear up the signal.
I have spiritual rabbit ears–I can adjust them to better hear God. And sometimes I fiddle with them to block God’s message. It’s the spiritual equivalent of fingers in my ears, “na-na-nah-na-nah.”
Me: I can’t hear you, God.
God: Silly child, fix those rabbit ears.
Now.
James 1:19
Be quick to listen.
You remember the story of the tortoise and the hare. Bunny versus turtle. Quick versus slow. In what ways are you rabbit-like?
Quick to listen?
Listening is slow! There’s a lot of STOP in listening. STOP what you’re doing. STOP planning what you’re going to say next.
Listening seems all turtle, no bunny.
James 1:19 (NIV)
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.
Put on your rabbit ears.
“Love is something more stern and splendid
than mere kindness.”
C. S. Lewis
The Problem of Pain, 1940
When it comes to refugees, Lord, make us more than kind.
It is easy to say, “Come to America. It will be fine.” But nothing is that simple.
I remember when Hmong refugees were brought to America after the Vietnam War. Thousands of churches and individuals worked tirelessly to resettle the newcomers, family by family. It was hard.*
I hope all the folks calling us to open our nation to today’s refugees are ready to roll up their sleeves and open their arms. If you think it is the right thing for America to do, then it is the right thing for you to do.
