God: Ah, my child, don’t confuse natural consequences with unintended consequences. I set up the world to run by certain rules. When you make bad decisions, you risk bumping up against those rules.
You were distracted and missed a step. Falling down the stairs was a natural—albeit unpleasant—consequence.
Me: I get it! As in: mega stress + lack of sleep + junk food = I get sick . . . natural consequence.
God: Indeed. And all those times you strayed from my plan and then whined about the consequences? Let’s talk about them (hint: it’s called confession).